The Twist
by Hanky Yondermall
Summary: The 6th year just ended, what happens next, find out how and what evil people's mood sways contain. If you like humor, and a bit of action, this is the story, and writer for you. Please write a review, I need to know how to improve.


**Harry Potter**

**7**

**The Twist**

**DISCLAMER**

**ALL CHARACTERS ARE NOT MY OWN**

It was the night Dumbledore died, so nature- magically, it was raining.

"Like, dude, I'm so, like, not cool." Malfoy confessed. "I'd even say I'm stupid!"

"You just noticed that? If I wasn't paid by you to give you good grades, I'd give you a G-!" Snape said sleepily.

"No, I mean that I joined with an almighty force and I chickened out to kill that dude with the long, grey beard." Malfoy cried.

"Ah, its okay, the first kill is always the hardest. I mean it took me 287 killing curses until I got used to it. Besides, hangovers always make _me _crabby. Why don't you have some cocaine?" Snape said, trying to get Malfoy out of one of his mood sways.

"Thanks Snape, you're the best, I can see why you're Voldemort's first man. So that's why I have to kill you. 1. You hog all the coke, and 2. So I can get the credit for killing Mr. Wise-pants. **AVADA KEDAVRA!**" Snape falls to the ground. "Now, I need to talk to the grayish-whitish dude that likes to kill people." At that moment, there was a rumble, then red smoke started crawling out of the stalagmites and stalactites, and then there was complete silence until a big…

**BOOM! **Green light was flashing every where, a big explosion knocked Malfoy out of the cave he was hiding in and made him roll down the rocky mountain the held host to the cave he and Snape were hiding in. Finally, Malfoy splashed into the lake that belonged to Hogwarts. However, Malfoy swam to the top and started treading.

"Hew, glad that's over." And, of course, being Malfoy, the giant squid popped. "Oh, uh hello, giant squid thingy-mabober, lovely day, isn't it?" The squid just angled his head to the side and grunted. "If you let me go, maybe we can have tea some time." The squid nodded and grunted happily. "Good! Now, uh, let me swim to the beach over there." But the aquatic creature grabbed him by the ankle and took him to and under water cave, which, somehow had oxygen in it.

Now, this was an unusual cave, having pink wallpaper and a tea table with stuffed animals in little chairs. The squid pointed at the table.

"Oh, come on! There's no way-" The great, big ball of slime grunted threatenly. "But for you, I'll do anything." Malfoy said, putting on a fake smile.

Hours had gone by, and Malfoy and "Squidy" as Malfoy called him, became good friends. Then, the red smoke, green light and explosions happened again, but this time, Voldemort appeared, sighed, and said,

"I made it! Last time I nearly made use of one of my horcruxes… I mean," Tom pulled out a card and read, "Hello insert frightened person's name here, I am the one who enjoys killing people while drinking there blood, and ballet. So, what business do you have calling for me…?" Voldemort had looked up and shouted happily, "Malfoy! Long time, no seek!" Mr. Riddle playfully punched Malfoy in the arm. "So who's your friend here?"

"His name is Squidy, I just met him," Draco patted the squid on the back, but some-how popped his skin revealing Fred and George behind a control panel.

"What the-" Tom said confused.

"Yeah, didn't you know the squid was just a giant floaty?" George said.

"Hey, what's that?" Fred said, pointing at the wall, causing Malfoy and Voldemort to look, and giving them an easy exit.

"Okay… Now how about meeting Potter?" Voldemort suggested.

"Yeah!" Malfoy said joyfully.

During this havoc was taking place, all the remaining students were loading on to the train. After an hour of blabbing on and on, Harry was hit on the head by a blank letter.

"Ow!" Harry screamed like a little girl.

"Bloody hell!" Ron said in astonishment.

"I've _never _read anything about this spell before." Hermione said frightened.

"Well it must be something new, having you read every book in existence!" Ron said laughing. After Ron's comment, another letter hit Harry in the head, but this time it said something.

_Dear Harry,_

_It's called a new spell anyway; I'm inviting you to come to Hogwarts for some lunch._

_Your friend,_

_Draco_

"How do I get back to Hogwarts? We're going away from it." Harry asked Ron and Hermione. Then, another letter hit Harry on the head.

_Use your god forsaken fire bolt, moron!_

"Hey, how can he hear us?" Harry looked out the window and say Draco on his Nimbus 2001.

"See ya' at school!" Malfoy Shouted. Harry got his broom out, flew out the window, and started chasing Malfoy.

"Now how are _we _supposed to get there?" Hermione asked.

"Like this!" Ron whistled, and in came Pig. Ron held onto his feet and motioned Hermione to grab onto him.

"No way this is going to work! Well, okay, it's worth a try." Hermione grabbed Ron's waist and they jumped out the window, and started falling strait down.

"We just _had_ to jump out over a bridge!" Ron screamed, then in unison with Hermione, "AY!"

Within a couple of minutes, Harry chased Draco into Hogwarts to find him landing next to Voldemort.

"I'll leave you two to play nicely." Tom said joyfully.

"What's wrong with him?" Harry asked Malfoy.

"Hello, he's evil!" Malfoy said in an all-knowingly way. "Well, should we do it?"

"Yes, let's" Harry said smiling. Then, magically, music was begun, and Harry and Draco did the tango.

A couple of minutes had pasted, and then the music stopped. Then, all of a sudden, they heard shouting, no cheering, it sounded like:

"Pig, Pig, Pig! Come on, you can do it… yes!" The front door opened, showing Ron, Hermione, and pig, of course falling to the floor!

"Get your hands off my boyfriend, you slime ball!" Hermione screamed.

"I didn't know you and Harry were going out." Ron said questioning.

"No silly, not Harry, Draco!" Hermione said. Ron collapsed, and Malfoy ran to Hermione saying, "Hermy!" and kissed her.

"I like the way you say that." She told him.

"ENOUGH!" Voldemort reappeared, back to his normal, hatred filled self. "I had Potter come here for one reason, and one reason only. To get him to turn to the dark side!"

"NEVER!" Harry screamed.

"Then so be it." Voldemort laughed, and then mumbled, "Rebas Thgil." Then, a red laser grew out of Voldemort's wand, and Harry did the same, but having a green one. They started fighting, but it was too even for a quick duel. They fought through the whole castle until they got to the highest tower. Tom made a move and sliced off Harry's hand, making him scream.

"Ha, ha, ha. This is the end for you, Potter. Though you may have destroyed all my Horcruxes, I will now defeat you." Voldemort said evilly.

"No way Jose. You won't kill me like you killed my father." Harry screamed.

"Harry, I _am _your father!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Okay dad, can I borrow your wand?" Harry asked.

"Sure!" Voldemort handed the wand over, and Harry chopped him up.

When Harry got back, Ron was back to his senses, having a friendly chat with Malfoy.

"I killed Voldemort, my father!" Harry bragged.

"Sweet!" Ron said coolly.

"How come you didn't faint?" Hermione asked.

"Because you and Malfoy together seems impossible, but about Voldemort, that was obvious!" Ron said.

"Then why didn't you tell us?" Harry asked.

"You know me, mate." Sighed "You know me, mate."

**THE END**


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